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 - a spanking game

TEENAGERS: What you do with each other is really none of my business, but these rules are not intended for you.  Certainly you shouldn't play such a game with anyone much older than yourself. 
I'd rather not exchange e-mails about spanking with a minor - sorry.    You could try ScarletTeen.   
Slowpoker is a way to get a slow, random spanking, with suspense as each card is dealt. As each card is dealt, that card, plus the four most recently dealt ones, is considered as a poker hand, and spanked for: one spank for a pair, two for two pair, three for three of a kind, etc. So if two matching cards are dealt in a row, that means at least four spanks, since that pair will still be in the hand as the next three cards are dealt. The spanking stops when the queen of spades is dealt.

Enter names in these two boxes:  

If you want to, after entering names, you can .  Coin lands:   .
Or just .

Press when you have entered the names and are ready to start: .

Result:  Give the spankee  spanks for 
Counting this, the spankee has gotten   spanks in all.    The spanker has gotten   spanks in all.
Press this for each next card, and keep on until it says to stop: .   Spanks are based on the five most recent cards, using this table, and a round ends when the queen of spades is dealt.

Slowpoker spank-off means alternating who gets the spanking, until someone wants to stop; that person is the "quitter" of the spank-off.  To play the spank-off, enter names in the yellow boxes and press this .    Then keep clicking "deal next card"   The game will continue, alternating spankees, until one of these is pressed:
 After pressing a button to quit, the quitter will have to take three rounds as spankee, before the game finally stops:
Rounds the quitter has left :

Rules of play:
The basic idea of slow poker is that as each card is turned over, the spankee is spanked on the five most recent cards, as a poker hand, according to this table.

 hand  number
of  spanks

pair 1

two pair 2

three of a kind  3

straight 4

flush 5

full house 6

four of a kind 7

straight flush 8

The game, or one round of it, stops when the queen of spades is dealt.     If you are just playing to give the spankee a random spanking, that's all there is to it.

For the spank-off,  enter two names, and click the "play the spank-off" button.       One player will be selected at random as the first spankee, and positions switch at the end of each round (that is, when the queen of spades is dealt).       The spanking goes on indefinitely until one player decides it's gone on long enough - that player is the loser of the spank-off, and in addition, must take three rounds before the game ends.




- May 2004 -
David Nunes da Silva 

These phrases are here so that, if you look at this page in a BabelFish translation, they will get translated, and then the JavaScript can read them in and use them in translated form. Please ignore them.

apple|This round has not started yet. Press "shuffle and deal five cards" to start. Or press "play the spank-off" if you want to alternate spankings.|The game is over. Press "shuffle and deal five cards" to start a new game.|You are already playing the spank-off.|John|Now John gets spanked for three rounds.|You are not allowed to reverse players during a spank-off.|There has been a coin toss. John lost.|Switching positions is not allowed in the middle of a round.|There has been a coin toss already. John is the one who will be spanked. Another coin toss is not allowed until this random outcome has been used in a game.|Press "deal next card", and keep pressing it until the queen of spades is dealt.|The queen of spades has been dealt, and the game is over. To play again, press "shuffle and deal five cards".|Note that the spanker and spankee have been switched, but you may switch them back, or do a coin toss.|The queen of spades has been dealt, so you should switch positions.|The queen of spades has been dealt|17|The number of rounds that John has left is 17.|GAME OVER.|ready|flip a coin to determine who gets spanked|switch spankee and spanker|shuffle and deal five cards|deal next card|play the spank-off|wants to quit|wants to quit|dummy

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