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Spanking Poker
- a spanking game

TEENAGERS: If you want to play a game of nudity and spanking with each other - I guess what you do is really none of my business, but these rules are not intended for you.  If you play any kind of poker though, shuffle the deck yourself and always cut the cards.
Spanking Poker is poker played with chips that have value as spanks.

This game is most exciting, when it is played for spanks that sting.   But everyone's spanks must be the same.   So even if one player wants to play for canings, while another wants hand spankings, you must compromise on a kind of spanking to which everyone can agree. If you bet six of the best, you don't want someone to be able to see your six and raise you three, when his strokes are lashes with a wet noodle.
  1. Taste spank:   Everyone gets one spank, at the start of the game, from the player on his or her left, as a test and a warm-up; this spank should be given very hard.   If this is more pain than is wanted, choose a lighter implement rather asking people to spank light.   By continuing, players commit to take spanks as the rules provide, with the chosen implement, as hard as the spanker wants to spank.
  2. Chip distribution:   White, red, and blue chips have value one, five and ten points.
  3. A spank is 25 points.
  4. Give chips worth 400 points to each player.   Use checkers as worth 25 and 50 points (red and black) if needed; or any sort of token.
  5. Spanking at the end of a hand:   At the end of each hand, if there is any player with less than 100 points of chips, then the poorest player of all gets four spanks from the richest player, and the spanker pays the spankee 100 points. Only the poorest player is spanked, even if more than one player is below 100 points. The spanks are not payed for individually, but only when all four are given - the poorest gets all four, even if he is only a little poorer than the next poorest. If there is a tie for poorest or richest, draw cards.
Cashing in your chips:
  1. A player who who wishes to leave the game, must bring his chip total to as close as possible to 400 points, by getting or giving spanks at 25 points per spank. The spanking calculator can be used to work out who spanks who when a player leaves, or at the end of the game.
  2. If you don't use the spanking calculator, here is how to work out the spanks: At the end of the game, the players leave the game in random order, by drawing cards - high card leaves first. The spanks as each player leaves, are calculated the same way if a player left the game early.
  3. For each leaving player, spanks are taken or given to bring his total as close as possible to 400. This means he will get spanks if his point total is below 388, and give spanks if it is above 412.
  4. Spanks given to the leaving player are given by the richest player, and each spank is paid for when given.   After each spank, check that the richest player is still richest. Stop then the leaving player's total reaches 388 or more.
  5. Spanks given by the leaving player are given to the poorest player, and each spank is paid for when given.   After each spank, check that the poorest player is still poorest. Stop then the leaving player's total reaches 412 or less.
  6. If the last remaining player at the end of the game has less than 388 points, he or she is spanked by the first to leave.  The last player left does not spank anyone.
To use the Spanking Calculator at the end of the game, enter each players' point total into the row of boxes. Press the "select random player to leave" button. Then when that player has gotten or given the spanks, press the "press after spankings" button - that will select at random the player to leave next, and calculate the spanks he gets or gives.
If it is not the end of the game, but someone is leaving early, enter each player's point total, and select the leaving player by clicking a radio button. The spanks that player gets or gives will be calculated.
The Spanking Calculator can also be used to spankify any game that uses points. For poker, the target for leaving is the chips you were given at the start of the game (400 points, in this case), but for other games, the targetfor leaving could be set to the average score of all players. Just enter each player's points at the end of the game, and then click the "set leaving target to average points" button. The "set target to average" button is not used in spanking poker itself.
Spanking Calculator.    
To leave, points are brought as close as possible to    points, at   points per spank.

Enter point total for each player's chips:
  A:     B:     C:     D:     E:     F:     G:

Select which player is leaving, or   
  A:             B:             C:             D:             E:             F:             G:            


Player     spanks total to leave the game, as follows:
      spanks    player , who     points,
and spanks    player , who     points,
and spanks    player , who     points,
and spanks    player , who     points,

The average number of chips per player is: .

The point totals after the spankings will be:
  A:     B:     C:     D:     E:     F:     G:

   this also selects the next random player to leave.

Some minor rules:
  1. Ante for each hand is 5 points (a red chip) not one point.
  2. A player who sits out a hand must still ante for each hand.
  3. Players should stack their chips in stacks of 25 points each, in groups of four stacks, so the richest and poorest can be determined at a glance.
  4. Table stakes only.    No one may make a raise that another player will be unable to call.
  5. Any kind of poker can be played, such as draw, stud, or dealer's choice.
If you liked this game - or even if you played it and didn't like it, I'd love feedback.   This site has other games : Spin the bottle, Truth or Dare, Spanking strip poker, and others.Also links to other sets of rules for each game, and links to Truth or Dare stories, Spin the bottle stories, and Strip poker stories. No ads on any page.

To download this game:
  1. From your browser's menu click on File->Save As.
  2. Set the "Save as type" to "Web Page, complete" ("Web Page with Images" in Opera)
  3. Save it.
  4. Then just open the file you saved in your browser; it will work fine without an internet connection. (I hope - I worked hard to make these games work offline, so if you run into problems, please let me know.)

home page link

- May 2005 -

David Nunes da Silva 

These phrases are here so that, if you look at this page in a BabelFish translation, they will get translated, and then the JavaScript can read them in and use them in translated form. Please ignore them.

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