The Rules of the Game
I personally see ARP as a game. ARP is that it is basically a game where the enjoyment of all the fursons involved it the goal. Like it’s game siblings, LARP (Live Action Role Playing games) and RPGs (Role Playing Games), it requires intelligence, inspiration and mostly rules. In this little section I will go over what I see as the rules of this game. If you have ever been in a successful ARP then it will no doubt recognize these rules.
Know your place
Your place in the room is the spot were you can have fun and the others ha Don’t cop the room on stupid things.
Example: In a furry room insulting someone that is RPing an elf. This is silly. The person may be there for a reason - they like to be changed into a furry or is meeting someone.
Do say something to maintain the civility of a chat room.
If someone harasses others or just tries to make a butt of themselves tell them to stop and then ignore them (That is a feature on some chats that will remove all posts from the offender.)
Don’t spam on the room.
Do not use the room to send links unless there is a request by more then one person. (If one person PM the link to that person.)
Do have fun.
Never Cross The Line
Don’t do things that the other person may not like or agree with or try to have fun while ignoring the possible responses of others. This is just plain un-fun. Just because you like to play with whips and chains doesn’t mean that the other person will want to. You shouldn’t just assume that if you are having fun that the other person will to if they just ‘lighten up’. When you post you should say what you want and then post for the other character. If they want to do it they will, but part of the fun in ARP is the not knowing exactly what the other person will do.
For example from my experience. Run up to my character pick them up on your nose and balance them. (This crosses the line because it touches a character and does things to him and attempts to prevent an obvious action - in my case clawing the heck out of you if you attempt to touch my cat character un-invited.)
Don’t Mary Sue (cause it ain’t you, Mary Sue)
What is Marry Sue? Marry Sue was a character in a Star Trek Fan fiction. She was basically a super human character. Loved and needed by all. Could die a tragic death and then be resurrected in time to save the galaxy. In short and regardless of the sex, Mary Sue is a super character that can do everything.
What does that have to do with ARP? A Marry Sue character is created for the inaction of the writer’s fantasy. Ultimately this is puts the writer in the driver’s seat and drives out all other characters- including your ARP partner(s).. It is really hard to play with some one that is not talking to you but using you like an audience. It is not fun.
On the practical side, a Mary Sue character makes you the character so if things go badly or something is not up to your standards of what it should be, you are going to be deeply hurt. For example, one of my friends was a girl loving girl. At the time, I thought that she was a boy loving girl and she ARPed with me. As things progressed, we had a copulation event. Because she knew that her character was not her and I was not my character, she completed the scene and took a somewhat detached ‘that is an interesting style of lovemaking’ attitude about the event. As a result, when I apologized (for the next month after I found out that she plays for ‘the other team’) she could laugh it off. If she thought it was her in the room, she would have felt assaulted by my advances - instead of flattered and liked (which was what was intended).
Be Honest
I know this is not often seen as a problem. What with people doing things they never would in real life or being a different sex or just being an anthromorphic creature, you may think that ‘Honesty” is a minor issue.
It isn’t.
Telling the truth is about making sure that you get the things you need to be happy and getting the things that you like to be happy. Tell the person if your character is a lesbian and you won’t be happy being with a guy. Tell your partner what you want to do. I hate gangbangs and only like girls. Don’t be shy. If you don’t say what is true to you then the other person can’t make you happy and if that happens neither of you will be happy.
Stay behind the screen
This goes hand in hand with the “Don’t Mary Sue” rule. You aren’t actually in the company of that other person. If they and you get along really well, you may become friends, but the person you are talking to is not that person. So if you really like them and mate them all the time, they are not really your real life mate. If they choose to not be with you, they are not rejecting you but choosing to not be with a name on the computer monitor - effectively a person that is not ‘real’.
Do not believe that you are actually in another’s life or that they “owe” you anything. Remember this is not serious and is NEVER meant to be serious. Real life relationships are serious. They are filled with nuances, rewards and great dangers that cannot be done on the computer screen. If that is what you want is a real life relationship of any type then this game is not for you. If you want a girlfriend, find one away from the keyboard. Same applies with friends and family.
(That is not to say that you can’t find a someone that you like or even can love in an ARP but understand that this is not what ARP is about. If you put this requirement on your ARP experience, you will almost certainly fail to enjoy it. The general rule is it takes real life to make a real life relationship. )
Play Nice
Remember that an ARP is about everyone having fun. If you don’t play nice then no one will have fun and you will not be invited to play.
Be courteous
It may sound like I am being your mother but it is not a possible to be a good ARPer if others think that you are mean and nasty. Nasty sexuality is okay but poor social values is not going to make you anything more then a pariah. If you hurt someone’s feelings then apologize and it will usually be forgotten. If you try to justify yourself and make yourself seem right then you change the ARP atmosphere from one of fun into one of a debate or even public trial. That is no fun. If please is appropriate then say it. It don’t hurt and it does tend to make everyone think that you are a nice person to talk to .
Don’t brag
After all if you are an astronaut or a millionaire, that will not make you a better ARPer. those that are with you will not get your vast wealth. It doesn’t matter. Most persons will say that you are full of it and everything you say afterwards will be seen as coming from someone with a big head. Remember that in the old comic books the guys with the big heads are many things but among then is always alone.
Don’t control others
Just cause you think it would be cool to hog type someone that you want to, doesn’t mean that they will agree. Posting such an action could well tick the other person off. Unhappy characters often lead to persons leaving (not always that character bothered).
Assume goodwill
That is assume that everyone in the room has good will toward you and your character until proven otherwise. If a person PMs your character don’t assume that they want to ARP with you. If they PM you chances are they just want to say something to you so others will not hear. If someone plays with your character (non-sexual role playing) with you they may just be bored or just would like to show off for someone else or wants to be fun/funny. In an extreme case, if someone ARPs with you don’t assume that they are doing it out of pity or that they are out to use you. Assume that they are doing it because they like you and want you to be happy - there are easier ways to hurt you or insult you then to try and make you happy.
Hear “no” as “not right now”
Rejection is part of the game. ARP is in many ways like any interpersonal relationship. Both of you must want to do this. No rule can (or should attempt to) compel an ARP experience, Of course, for many persons they go to an ARP area to find some one to play with. But this is not the correct way to enter the situation. The real question is does this fursona want to play with my character.
A common example of this is very well known to female character players. The female enters the chat room and even though the character has noted on her profile that they are not interested in ARP or PM and they are PMed with persons wanting to ARP or talk. This almost never convinces the female to ARP but it does make both uncomfortable and want to leave. That is not fun for anyone.
If you run into a female character and they don’t want to play with you or want to play with someone else, they will say ‘no’. They may not tell you the reason(s). They may just say..no. Don’t be angry and hurl an insult or a parting shot her way. This rule states that you must respect that choice and be cool about it. If you do, this “no” one day that person could change his/her mind. Perspective mates will see you in a better light.
Details, details, details-Load your posts with Details
The fact is, your posts will define who your character is and not just what he/she says and does. Posting swiftly is helpful but if you post with detail it can take a post which is serviceable and make it spectacular. It is not easy to do but two things will help you make it better.
First read. Erotica works as does any other actions based works. Reading philosophy won’t help much but even that works. One of the things the surprises most is that I strongly suggest that you read at the Song of Solomon (yes the book of the bible and one of the best longest lasting pieces of erotica on the planet). the story of O and Karma Sutra. If you want a quick fix then go to the newsgroups and read a few stories there (groups.google.com), It all works.
Practice the rule of differences. When you do something details are important. The most commonly important details is keeping pronouns and species separate. If there are five cats in the room and you post that you do something to a cat, all the cats wonder if it was them you are talking about. If you spots that you slap him, all the males in the room might be forgiven if they look at you as if that was a rude thing to do to each of them. Add details and it is clear, If you “kiss the orange and tan furred tabby”, there is just that one (hopefully) cat that thinks that they are kissed.
Make your meaning clear.
The example of “kiss the orange and tan furred tabby”, may tell who was smooched but not what kind of kiss was it. That is a big thing in an Adult Role Play. A “pecking kiss to the cheek” is not the same as a “long slow loving kiss to the lips”. Whether then wait for the question for the other person tell them what you see your character doing in your minds eye in that first post. Post “plants a long slow loving kiss to the orange and tan furred tabbies lips” . Just that little addition of details turns up the heat on the post.
Details, details details.
The section above also shows you something else. The more details you put in your post the more that you will get your thoughts across and your ARP will get better. The length of a post is not critical but it is valuable that details be used as much as possible to make for better posts.
Make mistakes and have Fun
I know there is a lot to think about when you are doing an ARP. But you have to understand that fun is the ultimate goal. Understand that you will not be perfect. No one is.
Worried that the you can’t post enough and your partner can post three times what you do. So what if they can post three times the length your posts.. That just means that they are happy to show you the skill that they possess so that you can enjoy it. You haven’t made any mistakes here.
Your spelling sucks....No big deal as long as you properly spell him/his, her/hers and your partner’s name you can get by
You don’t have much to say....Avoid multiple posts of OOO and MMMM say what you expect your character to feel and you will be like a pro.
Afraid that you will make mistakes..... Everyone does. It is no big shakes. No one expects that you will do anything other then having fun.
The only way to get better is to get out there. You can learn from your mistakes, but you have to make them. Just as long as you enjoy the time then all will be okay.
