The Power of the
Process
Sometimes a person just starting in the bold world of on-line Adult Role playing thinks that it is a very hard process. It often seems impossible to understand of get through. Lucky fursons find someone to help them through the process. But not everyone is so lucky. This page is about the process involved in the Adult Role Playing on-line. And some of the things that you may used to make your ARP session as successful as possible.
Introductions and negotiations: The Dance of the Porcupines
It has been often noted that ARP is a party and I call it a play. But the most important part of ARP is in many ways the beginning. This is the area of introductions and negotiations. And if ARP is a party then Introductions and negotiations is the heart of the dance. Thus the title of this section - Dance of the Porcupines.
So the question is how come this is the dance of porcupines? it is one of the more vexing questions that most smart young thinkers thing about - how do two porcupines dance with each other (or in our case ARP with each other). The answer is ...very carefully.
Meeting a mate
There are many places to meet a mate but the ultimate thing you have to do is participate in something. It is exceedingly rare that a mate will find you out of no where. After all they literally don’t know you exist. There are many places you can do this. Chartrooms, MUCKs, MUDs, e-mail lists and even bulletin boards. All of these places are potentially places that can allow you to find an OL ARP mate.
Just frequenting a place is not enough. You have to make your existence and personality known. Just being in a chat room or MUCK is not enough to do it. Remember more then any other type of sex, this type of non-sex is in your head. You have to put your personality on display so that you can be seen and what you offer is clearly known. Participate in ways that are good and useful. Don’t be a jerk to others of the same sex in the room to somehow thing that will impress anyone. Your potential mates will just think of you as a jerk that doesn’t treat others well. (Note: Being a ‘Master’ in a BDSM situation doesn’t make you immune to the ‘don’t be a jerk’ rule. A master but always first and foremost be a master of himself and his desires.)
Introduce yourself to everyone and be as courteous as possible. In interactive situations, say high to the room and each that enters it. On Bulletin boards just introduce yourself and when responding to posts, use the names of others that you are responding too. Not only does this show you are in the place, but it also shows you have some skill with the language. Have fun conversations and talk to others for the joy of the conversation. and play often. This way if you don’t see someone then you still have fun.
Top 10 ways to make her notice you
1. Read her profile to know her.
2. Make sure you have a nice profile with a picture
3. Don’t be needy
4. Be yourself
5. Be positive
6. Do behave
7. Approach her
8. Be polite
9. Do not chase her away with aggression
10. Make her laugh
Approaching someone you like.
Say you see someone that you like. The first move is to make sure that you read the available information on that person. Most chartrooms have some sort of profile system in place. If you don’t know hoe to do it ask someone. Read that profile before you consider if you really like that personality. It does you no good to try to talk to someone with an eye to ARP, if they only boys and your character is a girl or you are a vixen and they hate foxes. Similarly, by knowing what the profile says you can get some really important information. Some do not like to be PMed. Others hate cams and don’t want anything to do with them.
Profiles are not always about what not to do. Some profiles have info about what the character is like. Also it may have info about what the person may what to do. This can form the start of a good relationship if you are a master that likes two slaves and she is a slave that likes to one female in a harem of three or more, they you may have a lot to talk about . You have to read the profile and take it seriously.
Once you have the information in paw, move in on your target. If you are male or female (RL or OL), make the first move. introduce yourself. Try to start a conversation. Don’t assume that they want to talk PM. Most of the time, persons DON’T want to take one on one until they know each other. And under all circumstances, don’t ask for sex right away. Get to know them. If you don’t enjoy each other company, yiffing/casual sex will not improve the relationship of make a better more fun scene. If you like each other, then you may proceed to a closer relationship.
* - Actually if you are a female that wants to be a member of a male liger’s harem and likes girls, then give me a ring. : )
Dealing with Rejection
So you see the furry of your dreams and you get up the nerve to talk to that special someone. Things seem to be going well until suddenly they tell you to leave them alone or don’t respond to your posts. Then it hits you, they don’t want to play with you, You ask them out right and then they confirm your fears. They say- NO
Rejections is common and commonly is the cause of much bad blood and hurt. But it doesn’t have to be that way. First of all, let me explain the reasons for rejection. The person may not be in to you. Maybe they don’t like your musical tastes. Or find you unappealing because of something you said. Or they may be in a relationship with someone else or even are actively trying to catch the eye of another. the bottom line is the same - they are wanting to be with you. That is not their fault. It is no one’s fault.
The fact, that this person doesn’t want to be with you but this is not them hating you. It is them not being able to be with you. Think about it like that.
What are your options?
Rape is not an option. Not only is it basically impossible in a ARP (the person can leave the room, disconnect or ignore you), it is ugly and wrong on every levels. Some persons are into play scenes of non-consensual love making (ravishment and not violent rape) but this is rarely ever the first thing that a person wants to ARP. In fact, And honestly, the goal of this game is for both (or all) of the persons in the game to enjoy themselves.
Insult or harass the furson that has not returned your advances. This is almost as bad. Not only is it not fun and useless - it is also counterproductive. That person that you attack will not likely ever want to be with you. Think about it. If they don’t get the love they were seeking or the lover they currently have leaves them for someone else, if you attack insult or berate them then they will not see you as an option. Moreover, what is to stop them from going to others and telling them what you are like and what you did? And if you really hurt them with your words then a rejection that was saying “not now” or “i am taken” becomes “Never jerk” and is tattooed on the heart of that person that you LIKED and all of the persons that they tell about it. What do you think your odds are then?
The only true option, is to keep looking. You will find someone but it is NEVER easy to find someone. Don’t let the large number of persons that are mated, married or tied confuse you. Each of them likely had to endure the same slow and occasionally painful process. It is not easy by any means but it is a part of the greater game. All good things take time, effort and cost. The cost of finding the right person is the occasional pain of rejection.
Negotiations
Most persons are told that negotiations should occur and honestly this does happen between persons that don’t know each other or when the scene that will be enacted will be intense. Also, persons that have been doing ARP for a long period of time may have things they hate or will not enjoy. They need to get that out in the open as a result.
What you need to now is that Negociations may be done in real time or even not at all. If you operate without a negotiations, it is like walking a tightrope without a net. You have to have practice, gall and a lot of luck not to screw it up and wind up splayed and broken on the ground. In this context you should know your mate, what they like and be CERTAIN that they want it from you. This is usually clear from the chat and usually occurs in the main room but in PMs.
Setting the Scene
Making a place where lovers and give and receive pleasure
Now that you have found someone to play with you can now start to get to the heart of ARP. All ARP is done in what is called “scenes”. Much like in the movies, a scene both a place and the actions of the characters actions within that place. In many ways it is like a single chapter of a novel. But unlike a movie or novel, a scene in ARP is a fully self-contained story. Thus both participants are telling a story that is fun and stimulating.
You may have of course, just realized something, two persons may have totally different ideas about what they want to do. Or maybe only one person has an idea. Well, that means that one person has to set the scene. This person is the controlling ARPer - I call that person control (in one case I call ‘em dragon.). This person sets the scene with the first post of the ARP and is very frequently the more experienced of the ARP participants. This ARP role does not mean that the person that is control is a dominant, just that they are starting the show.
Doing this is simple enough. The control has to have an idea of what they want to do. This is usually taken from a fantasy or a situation in the chat room or a picture you have seen or even a story that you have read. All you have to do is come up with something that you and your partner(s) like. Then you have to shape it into a story that you are going to play out.
One of my favorites is the story of the alpha wolf male that hunts down the dominant vixen in heat and ravishes her making her pregnant and totally submissive slave to his desires. So to start this little ARP, I need a female that is a submissive partner (preferably a female fox but not always) for it to be a good choice. Of course, in a negotiation or conversation, if the partner was a sub and liked the idea of ravishment then we could start. Then all I need is to set the scene in motion.
“the hungry winged wolf alpha has been wondering around for a days following the scent of a certain vixen that has been eating his chickens. His saber teeth point forward as he sniffs at the air. He realizes that his prey is very close. His liquid gold eyes glare across the clearing and lock on the blonde vixen sitting there as she finishes his well-cooked chicken. He moves toward Foxie with long passionate strides. The fox’s predator rapidly closing the distance with his pray. His teeth shown as his muscular body grows ever larger. His silver hair flowing around his stride making it clear that he expects her to flee.”
Notice that this starting post has several valuable parts. First, the posting character is introduced as is the area that they are in. Also the next action that my partner can do is suggested so she can know where to start if she wants. Some extras included but not needed. I start with basics of the vixen partner defined by name and species to be clear in an open chat room. Another technique that I use I call Screeching the Line (giving the vixen a simple and obvious action that moves the story line). I have started her eating the chicken that one can presume belonged to the wolf. (This is not necessary the truth, as he could be making a mistake).
Posting
The heart of any ARP is of course posting. Posting is simple enough. A post is the text and actions of a character in a text form. But don’t let the definition stop you from seeing it for what it is. It is just a medium for expressing your actions and words. Posts are all-important and posting well will start to make all the difference in communicating in your ARP.
Effective Actions
Posting is how you do things in an ARP. It is the words your character says and the things that they do. So the posts that you make will not only make ARP possible, but it also defines your character. so your posts should as effective as possible in infusing your personaity into it.
Detail, detail, detail.
It can’t be said enough. There is no substitute for details. What you are doing with your character is every bit as important as that you do it. “Kissing the kitten over and over again with soft moist lips beugoning with her with passion” is not the same as “kisses her”.
Good actions do something useful.
Just kissing is nice as a post but after you kiss your partners lips five times it is not as fun as a post. Posts that lead to somewhere are critical. Posts that lead you somewhere will give your parner something to respond to and interact with.
Posts should be stimulating and allow your partner to respond
The ARP is a process of making simulating actions occur in the minds of the readers. It is not as much a show as a sharing. In the example of “Kissing the kitten over and over again with soft moist lips beugoning with her with passion”, it is clear that the person could respond easily enough but an action like, “he ties his partner up so she can’t move even in the slightest; her mouth completely gagged and even her eyes covered”. Your partner could be forgivin if they have trouble commenting in return. (Yes you can play in this way - happens in mummifiation scenes - but this is something that only a experienced ARPer should deal with. )
The Duel Of Passion
In the perfect world all ARPers would be great at the art and all things would be equal. But unfortunately this is likely not going to be the case. To make ARP work best you need to know whece of these roles you may find yourself in at any time.
Leading ARPer
Very often one ARPer is the one that sets up the basics of the scene. This person is the leading ARP. He will often has to define things that are needed and set the mood. This biggest trap that this role has is that he may start the ARP scene as a scenario with an end and even a storyline that only the Leading ARPer may want. This is a big problem because the end or even the story path the ARP may take will not be what that player had originally wanted. Also, a leading ARPer should be very aware of the needs and desires of the other player(s).
Driving ARPer
After the basic issues of the ARP have been settled and the play of the ARP begins, very often one player will make the big calls about where the ARP will turn to. This person often does more typing and has to be more into the forsight of keeping the ARP going. This is the Driving player. The biggist problems that this player can run into is that they could take over the entire ARP, thus reducing or even eliminating much of the interactivity of the ARP. The fix is simple enough. Don’t get carried away. Let the other player take charge and do things - important things. Remember that you and they both must enjoy the ARP from a place of doing things.
Listening ARPer
Sometimes in an ARP one person doesn’t make much or any of the major decission making. Maybe this player is enjoying the ARP so much that they are typing with one hand and doing other things with the other hand. It is okay to let the other player control the game but the trap here is that the other player is making the strong effective posts and you are not doing much more then enjoying the word that they are typing. That is really unfair. If you feel your posts are hacking (as in Hacking posts section), then hop in with more details. If your fingers are working off the keyboard in the real world make sure that the one that is still on the keyboard is telling the other person what you are feeling.
Co-operative ARPer
The best and strongest ARPer is the one that posts in lock step with the parter(s) that they have choosen to play with. They can see a move or two ahead and make sure that the other player(s) have the ability to make significant choices in the growth of the ARP scene. These are the Co-operative ARPer. The reason that most advanced and experienced ARPers fall into this camp because there is no real trap here. Just lots of fun.
The proper voice
The third person perspective
You may have noticed that I often use the third person in my examples. This is the heart of the proper voice of ARP. You are not the person in the scene - your fursona/avatar is. You a person controling the action. You aren’t actually doing it. This is very important. Not only does it sound better it keeps a little disance between you and the action just in case things go poorly or too well.
Hacking posts
“FurryCharacter: She moans”
The post above is so lacking in detail and desire that it is hard to see what the person was thinking. The person is not giving his/her partner anything to work with. Even more so, that post doesn’t tell the other person that they like what they did. The fact is hacking posts like not just about really short posts it can also be posts that are just sounds like “MMMMmmmmmmm”. Avoid hacking posts at all costs.
Respect
Yep. I said it before and now I am saying it again. Respect is the key. And for all of those that think that being mean, rude or nasty is being a Dom, Doms are the most respectful of all. It is so important that I say it again here so read it.
Repect the ARP of others
Don’t expect that they are doing something wrong or attacking another person. PM in a chatroom could mean that the chracters invuvled can be talking to each other about everything. Only say something if the person invulved is vulnerable. Simularly speaking, don’t assume that persons in a scene don’t mind if you join unless all invulved SAY IT IS OKAY.
Respect the limits of others
Just because you don’t mind a gangbang with members of the opposite sex doesn’t mean that the persons invulved. Just because you want to do a scene with anal and your partner wants to be with you doesn’t mean that the part of her profile that says “No Anal” applies only to other furs. Don’t do it or you will be alone.
The control of other’s characters
Others in their ARP
Screeching the line
This is a somewhat advanced ARP technique but it warrents a major note here as an exception to the control one’s own character rule. These are posts are ones where the actions of one character are assumed by another character. This is done because on character needs to do something during the turn of another character to keep the ARP on track. Seems simple but it isn’t. The rules for this are four.
the post must be done to further the ARP and it’s missing would adversely affect it. the action invulved has to be a rational and very common one. the responce must be simple and appropiate to the situation and only include the posting player.
the screeching the line should be very rare - maybe once in every four ARPs.
For example, in a kidnapping ARP one character is following and the other into a store. The stalker moves up to the other character in the store wearing a borrowed store clerk id badge. The staker posts, “The sabertoothed lion walks behind his cheetah fem prey so he can smell them discrertly, moving away behind them as if to adjust the stock if they look.” The line that is screeched is that the acting to get near them but then if they choose to see him, he has taken that option away. This is acceptible as the lion player does not want to do the scene in the middle of the store and wants to kidnap them in a better place. The lion character is not really trying to control the cheetah fems but is only to make sure the scene happens in the way that is consciveably better. Don’t let this technique bug you, it is only useful for setting the scene.
The Facts of Posting
Here are a few things to think about as you post.
Ten Minute Rule
One can have the best posts but if they take to long to post it then the mood is lost. APR is at it’s very nature interactive. That means that it is a conversation. The flow of the conversation is almost as important at the words themselves. The 10 minute rule says that you should try to post at least every 10 minutes. Most experienced persons can post every 3 minutes but the average time is about 5 minutes. That can seem like a lot but you have to remember that ARP is not a typing speed contest. It is about feelings and fun.
BRB
If you are going to be away from the computer, tell the other persons. It is unavoidavle some time but long pauses is not good for the flow. If you tell the other person they can almost always deal with the delay.
Nothing to say
You are in the middle of the scene and you don’t know what to say. Post what you are feeling about what your partner(s) are making you feel. There is always something to say. Go with the flow.
Keeping the interest
If you don’t feel it the scene and it is not stimulating you then you have to end it.
Sounds
(more info needed in this section please write me if you can add something)
Sounds that say something. Sounds are not just making a audible noise. They are often saying something more. Spell it out. Be clear and descriptive but not too involved. Also don;t use the same sound more then once in a row. Some common sounds are:
MMMMMMMmmmmmm
OOOOOOhhhhhhhh
Mrph
ooooooo
unnnnghh
aaaahhhhhh
nnnnhhhh
jeeeacus
uuuuhhhh
owww
mmpphh
hhhmmpphh
ummm
noooooo
yesssss
aaiiilleeeee
gahh
mmmmfffh
Yip or yiff Yiiffp (IMHO: not used commonly but vixens should use this for pleasure and always for orgasm)
